This issue is also being helped by apps like Tinder introducing photo verification
. if you can select someone from any city in the world, it can be pretty overwhelming. It also means that you can be rejected by anyone in the world.
Also, Tinder’s The Future of Dating 2023 revealed that many people are now saying that feeling comfortable with someone is of higher importance than physical attractiveness
The next disadvantage of online dating is perhaps going to sound a bit strange, but a lot of men report that they don’t feel like they have good photos of themselves to upload. When I joined Tinder as their Global Research Expert, I remember talking to people in the company about how horrendous the men’s photos were. They were holding a fish they’d caught. Or they didn’t have a shirt on and were leaning up against a car. Just terrible photos. But I wasn’t in a great place to criticise. So that I could better understand the app and how it was used, I set up an account. It took me a while to find a good photo, and I was in the matchmaking business! I then had a call with the Head of Product Development, and she told me my photo was terrible too – and she was right. I didn’t have any good photos of myself.
This shift in emphasis from no photos in the early days to photos being so important has benefits and downsides. On the plus side, an image tells a thousand words, and you could argue that a photo allows for a better sense of a person than text alone. However, this only holds true if the photos are authentic. When photos first came serviГ§o de namoro legГtimo na SuГ©cia into vogue on dating sites in the late 1990s, a lot of people would use a professional headshot. The common response to that was, ‘Well, that’s not really how you look on a day-to-day basis.’ It was also expensive to get a professional image, so you’d only get one or two, and you’d have that professional image for years. Even people who didn’t get a professional photo taken would instead use old photos of themselves. It got to the point that the average age of a photo was ten years old. No one looks like they did ten years ago. We all like to think we do, but unfortunately we don’t.
Over the years, this issue of authenticity has only been exacerbated by the introduction of filters and photo editing. People naturally want to know if what they are seeing is really you or your digitally enhanced representative. And this is important, because being physically attracted to someone is still very important. It’s not just about connecting on an intellectual or emotional level. You still have to like the look of someone.
The bottom line is that a dating site or app is a tool, and it can be used badly or it can be used well. So even before worrying about how good your photos are, make sure you include some in the first place. You would think this is obvious, but a lot of people don’t include any photos at all, even though a high percentage of the decision to engage with you is based on what you look like. And having multiple photos is better, because the data shows that if you have three to five photos, you will be engaged with more than if you have just one. And why is that? Because of the authenticity problem – if people only see one photo, they’re not sure it’s actually you.
So, you need to have the right number of photos, but you also need to have the right types of photos. There are three kinds that are optimal. Number one is a photo of you smiling a nice, authentic smile. So how do you do that? Ask somebody to tell you a joke and have them fire off a couple of photos at the same time. Number two is a full-body shot, because the truth is everyone wants to see what your body looks like. And I think we put a little bit more pressure on that than we need to. Instagram has obviously reshaped what we think is a standard level of physical attractiveness, but in essence people are again just looking to see that it’s really you, and also that you conform broadly to the golden mean. And even if you don’t, different people are attracted to and prioritise different things. The third photo is one of you doing an activity that you’re passionate about. This is much more engaging than just a photo of you on a night out drinking.